Available June 17, 2025 (She Writes Press)

Facing the Jaguar

My story is not for everyone. I’ve experienced child sexual abuse and domestic violence firsthand. I am not a therapist—I am a survivor.

I am on a mission to help other survivors shine a light into the places where dark secrets grow into deep shame.

After coming full circle in my own journey, I’ve discovered that telling is an important part of healing. Today, I am on a mission to support other survivors—to help them take back their voices.

I work to raise the voices of the family secret keepers.

By turning up the volume and turning off the shame, we return to who we were meant to be. We are not what happened to us. We are the meaning and purpose we give to what happened to us. We break the silence and begin to repair our corner of the world.

Distributed by

Dedication

This book is dedicated to all my sisters
who were obedient and loyal to their families,
who kept the secrets they were told not to share,
who could not find someone to listen
or someone who could hear them,
who held the pain inside themselves for far too long,
who felt all alone.
Here’s to all the family secret-keepers.
Here’s to telling.

Introduction

I am neither the victim nor the heroine of this story. I am merely the teller. The events that happened have been seeping out of me over the past seven decades, like water in a tea kettle that begins with a soft hiss as it slow boils, then rapidly increases in intense bubbles until the low whistle erupts into a scream.

* * *

I have this recurring dream throughout my adult life that started in my childhood.
The sun is so high in the sky that it is blinding. Everything around me looks whitewashed and hazy. The ground I am standing on is light beige, the color of sand on a hot beach day. The pallid high cement wall behind us blends into the ground. The air almost seems electric as it makes rippled lines that zigzag and crackle. I struggle to keep my eyes open.
The line of men in front of me are wearing camouflage uniforms in faded khaki.
My mother, my little sister, and I stand huddled before them when the commander calls them to attention.
“Ready,” he shouts. The soldiers raise their weapons.
“Set,” he continues. We can hear the sound of metal catches being released in unison.
Before he can complete his mission, my mother forcefully pushes my sister and me forward. Then quickly crouches down on the ground behind us.
“Fire!”

"Babs Walters’ memoir, "Facing the Jaguar," is a small book with a huge impact. Despite the abuse of her childhood and young adult life, she comes of age turning these experiences around to survive and begin healing. Her words inspire others to confront their own family secrets, their own jaguars. This is a true story of a brave woman giving meaning and purpose to uncontrollable circumstances."

—Randi Busse, author, Turning Rants into Raves

"As Babs Walters recounts her painful childhood growing up in a dysfunctional family, she also embarks on a journey of understanding why, delving into the roots of her parents' behavior. There she uncovers the deep-seated generational trauma that shaped her family’s dynamics. This courageous exploration not only sheds light on the complexities of familial dysfunction but also provides invaluable insights into the cycles of trauma that persist across generations."

—Rhonda Kendle, Amazon reviewer

"In this profoundly moving memoir, Babs Walters demonstrates extraordinary bravery and resilience by sharing her harrowing experiences with family secrets of domestic violence and child sexual abuse. The decision to bring these deeply personal and painful truths into the light is not only an act of remarkable courage but also a gift to others who may have faced similar struggles."

—Jeniffer Thompson, host of The Premise podcast

Stay Informed

Don’t Miss a Thing

Get on my list to be informed of the book release date, pre-order announcements, readings, and launch parties.

Secret No More

Are you ready to tell your story anonymously? We are collecting shared secrets to inspire you on your own healing journey. Why? Because research shows that holding in a secret can cause physical and mental harm—getting the release of "telling" can free you from the weight of carrying it inside you.

Read what others have shared here

Consent

Copyright © 2024 Babs Walters All rights reserved. | Privacy Policy | Author Website by Monkey C Media